fruition

this was all so close to not being able to happen. being in san diego right now. this tour. this band. this life. this blog.

9 days ago - 13th day of the stay weird (fear before, heavy heavy low low, dr. manhattan) tour - we pull into lafayette, la. standard show setup: load-in, set up, locals, tour package, pack up, load-out, but it was during this loading out when it turned hairy.

the lows had guest-listed a loose acquaintance from the area - we'll call him scumfuck. scumfuck and his girlfriend were allowed into the show for free, allowed access to the backstage area, and treated with respect. how do they repay the favor? in spades.

as i began to pack up my things backstage, i notice my laptop has gone amiss. come to think of it, mike's - from fear before - laptop and charger, which had resided near mine, was gone as well (sidenote: earlier on the tour, mike's laptop had already been stolen and retrieved. this would make the second time on the same tour). as fear, the lows, and the manny hats begin to consider all options, rob from the lows begrudgingly asks scumfuck if it would be alright to check out his car for the missing laptops.

"this is bullshit. i didn't take anything." scumfuck replied.

rob feels bad and apologizes for the inconvenience. thuggy - of the lows - sympathizes by letting scumfuck know that it would just put some people at ease if we searched his car and knew it wasn't him - not an unreasonable request. after some huffing and puffing, access to scum's trunk is granted to adam. as adam - of the manny hats - begins to rifle through the trunk, he finds a backpack he thought to be scumfuck's, he realizes that it is his own backpack - previously unbeknownst to us all that it was gone.

hell breaks loose.

in a fit of betrayal, rob and thuggy begin to give scumfuck a makeover via their mitts. adam finds his bass guitar in its case in the trunk. i retrieve a local gigantic policeman - we'll call him thor. as thor and i approach the fisticuffs in progress, a question posed itself to me: "will this cop find two grown men beating up someone agreeable?" before i had time to properly address that question with an answer, scumfuck stumbles over to thor in a bit of daze sputtering: "excuse me, officer. these guys just jumped me." thor has a hard time believing him.

rob explains to thor that we allowed scumfuck and his girlfriend to get into the show and backstage for free, and they stole some things that belonged to the bands, thor nicely asks scumfuck to search the car for the still missing laptops and charger. scumfuck begins to make excuses for his actions. thor replies, "if you don't open up your car, i'm going to allow these guys to continue beating your ass."

scumfuck continues with excuses. thor responds, "if you don't shut your mouth, i'm going to beat your ass." knowing that the law is on your side? priceless.

scumfuck starts to angrily walk towards the group of some people standing by - thor does not find this pleasing. he sends scumfuck flying into his open driver's side door, knocking him on the ground. after a bit of searching by the group, the laptops turn up in a pile of leaves nearby. eureka.

thor cuffs scumfuck. dave - of fear before - tries to snap a photo of scumfuck so that the bands would have something to remember the person that stole our belongings by. scumfuck tries to headbutt dave's camera. again, thor is not pleased. spinning scumfuck around, thor knees him in the stomach and body slams him on the chilled dirt, knocking him unconscious. "hi, i'll take 'the coolest thing i've ever seen a cop do' for $500, alex."

scumfuck's girlfriend, played by a pre-"white man can't jump" rosie perez, tries to wake up her beloved with cries, only to fall short of his limp, comatose figure. i would have felt bad for her had she not been distracting matt - of the manny hats - with her frail puppy while her attractive suitor walked out with the goods.

what lesson have we learned here? don't trust drug dealers around your things? yeah, that's a good start. surround yourself with bad-asses who don't take no guff? sure, doesn't hurt. if you're going to follow your dreams, you're bound to put yourself into some situations you never thought possible, nor might they be in other lines of work. you take it with a grain of salt. hell, my biggest concern when i found my laptop missing was that i had homework to turn in that night. you take life with a grain of salt. sure, scumfuck probably would've sold my laptop for drug money only continuing to live out of his car. that's life. you can't help some people out of their situations, they have to want it too. did having his face rearranged help? most likely not. they have to want to help themselves too. scumfuck didn't want help. he wanted a temporary solution to a much bigger problem. seeing his girlfriend throw all of her clothes out of the trunk while searching for our stuff hit a weird part of me. they actually were living out of their car, weren't they? shit, if they wanted my laptop bad enough, they should've just asked. i don't need it nearly as bad.

i'd say the lesson here is that if you're going to make an omelette, sometimes you have to beat the ever-loving piss out of some eggs. shit, i want me an omelette.

signing off from san diego,
trashfoot.